Litigation vs. Mediation & Collaborative Divorce

Peaceful Mediation

Costs

Litigation
Soaring, exorbitant – average cost in NJ approximately $50,000
Mediation
Least expensive method – average cost for mediation with Anna Mae Perillo is approximately $3,000, which includes a draft Marital Settlement Agreement
Collaborative Law
While every case is different and depends on how ready the parties are to work together, the cost is reduced due to the efficiency of the process – no wasted time sitting in court, writing up scathing motions, etc.

Control

Litigation
The judge and adversarial attorneys. You may end up with a court order that does not make sense for you or your family and if you do not abide by it, you can be held in contempt and even be sent to jail.
Mediation
The parties will control the process with the assistance of Mediator, Anna Mae Perillo.
Collaborative Law
The parties will stay in control with the assistance of their independent collaborative attorneys. With both Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, you have the opportunity to stay in control of your life, finances, and assure that the children’s lives will move forward in a positive manner.

Children

Litigation
Children are often lost in the process, damaged permanently, and harmed by the energy and resources put toward litigation.
Mediation/Collaborative Law
You have the opportunity to minimize the negative impact divorce may have on your children. You will need to continue to work together to co-parent your children after the divorce.  With Mediation and Collaborative Law you can begin that process, act maturely, and send a message to your children that despite the divorce, you can still do what is best for them.

Timing

Litigation 
Court sets timing – wait months for a first conference and often years for a trial.
Mediation/Collaborative Law
You set the pace and can come to a resolution and put through an uncontested divorce in often two to three months. On the other hand, there are couples who are not ready to get divorced and decide to live with the agreement they reach in mediation for a mutually agreed-upon period of time taking issues such as health insurance, a desire to file a joint tax return, or the prospect of reconciliation into account.

Stress

Litigation
The adversarial nature of litigation causes stress on the entire family. While some want to “fight” just to make the other spouse’s life miserable, you will also make yourself miserable while dissipating your assets and harming your children.
Mediation/Collaborative Law
While any divorce can be stressful, the mediation and collaborative process involves working together in a comfortable, safe environment without waiting around in public hallways not knowing what your future holds.

Privacy

Litigation
Proceedings are a matter of public record and many negotiations and determinations are done in open court with the public looking on.
Mediation/Collaborative Law
All negotiations are done in the privacy of the mediator or collaborative professional’s office.

Communication

Litigation
There is nothing in the process to encourage effective communication between the parties.
Mediation/Collaborative Law
The parties are encouraged to communicate directly in a positive and respectful manner with the assistance of your professional(s).

 

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